Name:   Simon Collier
Referred to as:  Simon, Collier,  Mr Collier,  Mr Simon
Place & D.O.B:  Oxford, England  (2nd January, 1970)
Occupation:  Ex-British diplomat, now at a Japanese company

Debut for BEFC:  November 1999
Position:  Left back, Left midfield
Appearances:  80+
Goals:  7 or 8, but none at all between 2002 and 2006
Red/Yellow Cards:  None (don’t tackle)
Former clubs:  Battersea Alexandra (London)
Strengths:  Stamina
Weaknesses: Heading, Goal celebrations
Famous for: Assuring the world that David Beckham would never leave Manchester United.

Footy team(s):  Oxford United, Manchester United
Favourite player(s):  Matt Elliott, Ooh aah Eric Cantona
Favourite food:  Humble Pie (after Beckham signed for Real Madrid)
Favourite music:  Bob Dylan, Sex Pistols, Come on You Reds
Non-footy interests:  Eh?